I have been afraid of my life for so long,
I have held on too hard for so long, I don't know how to untangle myself.
I have known dissatisfaction for so long, I have lost my appetite for zest in my life.
I carried on like this for so long, I dream of waking up;
dancing,swerving,curving,woowing,amazing myself out of disparity.
I have hurt people; so many people, i hear their cries each time I smile.
I purge myself from ever being happy.
I grab my guilt - blooded sword,let it linger on my shoulders,
llet it forbid me to crave a lighter weight.
I stab myself countless times just so i can feel the pain of my neighbour.
I deceive my thoughts, cheating them with my actions,leaving them unnourished,keep them deformed
while I wait for someone supposedly special to save me.
I have accused so many of mistrust though I know I dont trust myself enough to let my truth wail.
I scream instead of crying, I leave instead of staying, I blame in response to criticism.
It is thinking that the world owes me that cripples my senses,
renders me a victim of my own ignorance, my disillusioned Ms.misunderstood ....
It is the love that is full of hate, it is the hurt that is full of love, it is the empty that is full.
I let it happen over and over again, yet I cant seem to press the undo button to revert, reverse,converse, converge and merge all the pieces,
without THIS habit of carrying on for so long.